12 Signs You're Dating A Sociopath

12 Signs You're Dating A Sociopath

When you're in love, you tend to look at your partner through rose-colored glasses - glossing over all of their red flags. No matter what your heart says, though, your gut will always be able to tell you when something is wrong - and it's best not to ignore this feeling. Now, before we get into it, it's worth noting that some experts use the terms ‘sociopath’ and ‘psychopath’ interchangeably when they describe someone with a more extreme case of antisocial personality disorder. While sociopaths and psychopaths are similar - as they both tend to display violent behavior, disregard laws, social mores, and the rights of others; they do differ in some fundamental ways. For example, sociopaths lack empathy - but are capable of it; while psychopaths are incapable of it altogether. To learn more about the key differences, check out a video we made on this topic - you'll find the link in the description below. For now, here are some signs that your partner may be a sociopath!

Number 1 - They're Charming, But In A Superficial Way

Sociopaths often come across as charming and friendly. They know just what to ‘say and do’ to get people to like them - and this includes using a lot of compliments and flattery. It comes off as charismatic - which is likely what drew you to them in the first place. However, regardless of how good they are at producing endless amounts of charm, something will feel off about it. That’s because they can turn this persona on and off as they please - which means it has no depth or substance.

Number 2 - They Seem Too Good To Be True

When a sociopath sets their eyes on you as a target, you suddenly become the center of their attention. They bombard you with phone calls and texts, and they want to see you all the time. They seem to have similar interests, goals, principles, and standards as you do. And the connection you form appears to be deeper than anything you've ever felt. You think they genuinely enjoy your company, but more often than not, their real intention is to get as much information from you as possible - for later use. Whatever connection you establish is simply a tool used to benefit them and will disappear the moment they no longer need it. 

Number 3 - They Lie Constantly

One of the behaviors associated with sociopathy is compulsive lying. Sociopaths lie for the same reason they do most things - to benefit and uplift themselves. Sometimes the lie is so separate from the reality that you'll be able to tell almost instantly. The facts don't line up with their words, and you may even get the sense they don't believe what they're saying either. They can say one thing, but their actions often tell a completely different story.

Number 4 - They're Extremely Controlling

As time goes on, you'll start to notice that your partner is becoming excessively controlling - regulating when, where, and how you do anything. Little by little, they'll start taking over your life - manipulating every aspect of it to fit what they want. And this comes with extreme jealousy. Whenever you're around someone or something that threatens a sociopath's position of power, they'll do anything to try and eliminate that threat.

Number 5 - They Prey On Your Good Qualities

Sociopaths know that the quickest way to open people up to their manipulation is to exploit their sense of sympathy and empathy. After all, when you're too busy feeling sorry for someone and expressing your sympathy, you are less likely to suspect that their motives or intentions are corrupt. Most sociopaths are very good at pretending to be wounded and hurt. And once they've established their façade, they find someone likely to want to comfort them - and then they target that ‘weakness.’ 

Number 6 - There's A Lack Of Connection To Their Past

Typically, this happens once you're heavily involved with a sociopath. You realize that you don't know as much about their past as they know about yours. He or she often just happened to move to your city for work reasons, or some other excuse. It probably won't register with you at first that you haven't met any of their family or friends. No one comes to visit them, and their past is a great blank spot in your mind. And when you finally bring it up and ask about it, they just find some way to change the topic.

Number 7 - They Don't Seem To Know What Makes You Upset Or Why

In a healthy relationship, your partner will strive to understand your triggers and actively avoid them. Sociopaths usually don’t care to remember these details. They literally cannot grasp that other people have complex, fluctuating emotions. There will always be a strong disconnect when they deal with you and your feelings. Not only do they act this way toward you, but you'll find that they can be even more callous toward others - especially when they think you aren't watching.

Number 8 - They Display Irresponsible Behaviour

Sociopaths tend to frequently engage in risky behavior - such as excessive drinking, drug abuse, compulsive gambling, or breaking the law. Not only do they repeatedly engage in these activities, but they don't experience any anxiety or remorse during, or after - like most people would.

Number 9 - They Have Volatile Mood Swings

Sociopaths often have sudden, unstable mood swings. Even the smallest action or statement can send them into a fit of rage. They rely on their anonymity to function; they don't like to be called out on their superficial behavior - as it hinders them from manipulating other people to get what they want. Regardless of how much evidence you may have, confronting a sociopath about their intentions and behavior will only lead to them blowing up and outright denying it. 

Number 10 - They Can't Hold Down A Job

Lack of social skills usually leads sociopaths to be unemployed. Working in an environment that requires them to collaborate with other people or follow instructions never ends well. They'll blame everyone else for their shortcomings and never attempt to even communicate with their coworkers, unless it's useful to them. Sociopaths are also notorious for being financially irresponsible - and if you are dating one, they will feel entitled to whatever you have - helping themselves to your wallet and credit cards without batting an eye. 

Number 11 - You Find Yourself Constantly Cleaning Up Their Mess

Sociopaths prioritize their own wants and needs above anyone else's - regardless of the consequences. Therefore, dating one can lead to repeated crises in your life - as a result of their risk-taking and sensation-seeking behavior. It will seem as if there's just ‘one mess after another’ to clean up - whether it's having to bail them out of jail, money going missing, or other relationships with family and friends breaking down.

Number 12 - They Are Immature

Sociopaths don't have much of a learning curve and aren't very good at learning from their past mistakes - especially when it comes to respecting other people. As charming as they may be, they can never really care about others. They can 'pretend to care' - but only if it benefits them in some way. A sociopath's true nature is very demanding and selfish. In conclusion, while sociopaths are able to establish bonds with certain people, they can never really have a real, healthy relationship with anyone. Even if they occasionally display signs of empathy, their experience in this area will always be extremely limited. If you think your partner displays some of these signs, it's probably best to re-evaluate your relationship. So, based on this list, are you dating a sociopath? Or, have you ever dated one? 

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